Thursday, December 4, 2008

I wish I could write the rules sometimes...

I'm in a very irritable mood today, and the way the day is playing out certainly isn't helping. My middle daughter has a birthday coming up, so we've been planning. Last year the school district's policy was that you must send an invitation to either ALL students, ALL of the girls, or ALL of the boys, in the class. Ok, no big deal. You assume that not all will show anyway. I was wrong there! Still, that was ok, I was prepared for a large number, just in case. So in preparation for the party this year, I send the teacher an email to obtain a list of names for all of the girls in daughter's class. She responds informing me that we can't pass out invitations at all at school. I took that as she meant that "WE", meaning myself or daughter, could not pass them out, which I was already aware of that. Then I proceeded to email her back and informed her that I was aware of that, but I would send them with daughter for her, the teacher, to pass out. Her next response confused me even more. I'm beginning to get frustrated at this point so decided to just call the school and ask. I spoke to someone in the office who told me that the district policy had changed entirely and that absolutely NO invitations were permitted to be passed out on school grounds at all now, BUT, she said kids do anyway, and that if daughter wanted to pass them out after school, she would not get reprimanded. This phone call took place in between email responses back and forth with me and the teacher. I then emailed the teacher and told her what I was told by one of the office staffers, not realizing that could possibly make her feel that I was overriding her at the time. I merely called out of confusion, but I had a feeling that's what she might've been feeling when I received her response to what I was told. Her response just oozed with "how dare you!"
Her response: k.... well then I guess it is okay.
Probably an hour or so later, I received another email from the teacher informing me that she contacted the principal and confirmed that absolutely NO invitations are allowed to be given on school property, and that she was sorry for any miscommunication.
Now, first of all... what a silly policy! How on earth are parents supposed to allow their children to invite other children to their parties? I, for one, would never send my child to someone's home on a verbal invite alone without talking first to parents and wanting details.
Second, who makes these rules anyway? This is a real dumb one, if you ask me. I always thought it was a bit much to have to invite ALL of the girls before, but I get that they required that to avoid bruised feelings. I'd take that policy over the new No Invitations At All policy any day.
I guess our only option is to get the individual students to give daughter their addresses and/or phone numbers in order to mail invitations out. I just hope they give reliable information, they are only 7, after all.
Like things aren't complicated enough sometimes, ya know? Then, every now and then, someone thinks they get a bright idea, and start changing rules. And seriously, when I was growing up, I was invited to some parties, others, I was not. I lived. We all survived that. To me, that's just life. I teach my children that there will be times that one of them will be invited to something that the others can't go to, and it's the same for all of them. That's just LIFE. I wonder sometimes how much damage rather than good we are doing their generation by always trying to cushion their feelings?...


Chris said...

My son's school has an all or nothing policy on invitations. But it is never handled the same by any teacher. I don't see why your daughter can't hand them out after school to some of her friends. How do they expect kids to socialize at such a young age? I hope you can get the birthday party organized and worked out.

Chris said...

Tag your it. Check my blog for the tag.